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Posts archive for: October, 2009
  • Soul Fight!

    I’m particularly enjoying the manoeuvrings of the Roman Catholic Church this week. If you haven’t heard, The Pope, Benedict XVI, a man that looks like Baron Von Greenback in a white toupee, has issued a papal decree that opens the way for Anglicans to jump ship and join his gang of papists (Link Guardian). The manoeuvre will reportedly gain the Pope an additional half a million souls which will make Jesus very happy/sad depending on who you believe is right and the quality of the souls in question.

    The reason that all these believers want to change their beliefs is that Rowan Williams has been recklessly ordaining women and gays. I like to imagine this as the Pope and The Arch Bishop, let’s call him Archy, playing a game of chess. Archy brings his Gay Bishop into play, threatening to reveal the Pope’s Queens, but Archy has left himself exposed and in the next move Benedict is able to capture half a million of Archy’s pawns. Half a million intolerant, misogynistic, Daily Express reading, pawns, but half a million pawns none the less. Archy sits impassively contemplating the Pope’s coup, his only show of emotion is to slightly raise one of his enormous, ornate, owl feather, eyebrows.

    It might seem like a great move by the Pope, but if you put it in a historical context its small potatoes. This is a game that was started nearly five hundred years ago by the famously tyrannical, misogynist, Henry VIII in an opportunistic move that not only allowed him to bonk yet another unfortunate woman, but also allowed him to pinch all of the Papist land and money within his kingdom. A move that quadrupled the value of the land that the king controlled, as well as netting him a million quid in gold and silver (you can times that by about 300 to get close to a modern value). That is a pretty sweet opening gambit. Rome replied with Mary I, her special move was to set fire to Protestants, but she dropped the ball when she failed to conceive (could this be the source of the Catholic aversion to contraception?). Rome’s next plan involved a full scale naval invasion, but that particular armada sunk and so the story continued.

    This latest twist means we can add sodomy and misogyny to the list of players in this five hundred year long saga; they’ll take their place alongside adultery, beheadings, burning at the stake, war, sectarianism, money, politics and power. What a heart warming story of compassion. Jesus must be so very proud.

  • I wrote a cartoon

    the picture is too wide for this blog, so I posted it here.

  • Oh Dear

    I have just made a profile for Nick Griffin on Interracialromance.com

    Nick Griffin

    Headline: Orthodox Opinions - Pah!

    Describe Yourself:

    I'm an author, journalist, political campaigner, public speaker, member of the European Parliament. In 1998 I was convicted of distributing material likely to incite racial hatred, but what I really want to distribute is interracial romance.

    I really shouldn't be left alone.

  • Did you see question time on Thursday?

    Oh you missed it, watch the highlights:

    From Cassetteboy.

  • Nick

    Nick had nothing to contribute to the world. He was unemployed and cronically lazy, he had not earned a days wages in almost a decade. After Nick lost his job he’d tried to stay positive, at first he had spent every day looking in the paper and at the job boards at the job centre, but his efforts were fruitless and pretty soon it started to wear. He still looked at the job boards, but blankly, the jobs meant nothing to him. Then he stopped going all together.

    Nick had never had much of a stomach for a fight. He resigned himself to redundancy. The days and weeks started to merge. Without an income Nick had to lower his expectations, a walk in the park is a simple pleasure to most people, but when the park is the only place open to you life starts to feel like a prison. Nick’s prospects closed in on him. Sadness built up inside of him, clogging the arteries that fed his spirt. Soon Nick couldn’t even contribute a smile. His personality was in recession. People he’d known for a long time started to avoid him. He no longer liked himself, he wasn’t interesting, he wasn’t funny, his mind was full of torment. He started to get angry, then he stopped sleeping.

    He lay awake at night thinking. How had he come to this. How, why, who was responsible for the malaise that enveloped his every waking moment. It hadn’t always been like this. Hate, malignant hatred, infected his thinking. The faces he saw while he was stalking the park during the day came back to him at night. The mums pushing prams, the children on their way home from school. They had a place in this world, something to contribute. Nick had no place, no friends, no community. Allot of the people in the park were Asian. The city in which Nick lived had a vibrant Asian community. Nick started to think that the Asians had taken away his community, taken away his job, taken away his friends and he hated them for it.

    And that’s where racists come from.

  • GoCompare - Open Letter

    Dear Chris Wilkins and Sian Vickers

    I understand that you are the husband and wife creative team responsible for Gio Compario the fictional opera singer currently featuring in adverts for the price comparison website Go Compare. You pricks, why would you do such a thing?

    Regards

    Mjohnson

    I couldn’t find an address for Chris and Sian so they may never receive my carefully worded critique of their work, which is a real shame. If anyone reading this knows either of these guys can you just send them the link, you may also want to question the type of company you keep.

  • Adam Curtis on Helmand

    I've already put this link in my Delicious links, but I also want to make a note of it here. It's a link to a post by the documentary maker Adam Curtis, the man who responsible for The Power of Nightmares series. He writes an excellent blog for the BBC, where recently, he has been researching the history of modern Afghanistan. This is the third post he has written on Afghanistan, they're all worth reading, but to me this is the most extraordinary. His story centers around the Kajaki dam, an American aid project begun in the 50s, but he doesn't just tell the story of the dam he tells the story of the ideas, the political theories, the cultural shifts, behind the policies. By doing this he is able to link sewing machines in Kandahar with forced relocation programmes in Vietnam.

    The other thing I like about Adam's blog is the way he uses the medium. The internet, text, pictures, video, links to other sites to tell his story. He's not the first to do this, but he does do it very well.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/adamcurtis/2009/10/kabul_city_number_one_part_3.html

  • Movie Time

    I made this film - won't let me embed it though. You just can't get the staff!

    Watch it by following this link.

    http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20091004143640386

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