I've written another Daily Mash/Two Ronnies style post about Hazel Blears.

Hazel Blears has expressed her deep regret to the Manchester Evening News over her decision to wear a brooch clearly displaying the phrase “Rocking the Boat” while announcing her decision to resign from her position as communities secretary.

“It was a terrible choice of phrase” said Blears “the problem is English has so many maritime sayings. If I’d stuck with ‘shaking things up’ this would all have gone flat by now”

Blears, who recently handed over a cheque for £13,000 for a seat in a New Labour life boat, resigned last week on the eve of the local and European elections. Labour polled badly in the run up to the election and Mrs Blears’ actions have been widely interpreted as an attempt to scuttle the party’s election prospects.

Gordon Brown, who has defied expectations to go down with the ship, has had to deal with a string of resignations from a mutinous cabinet who have abandoned the government like so many rats from a sinking ship. As the last rat into the water Mrs Blears has left herself exposed to a serious broadside from the rank and file party members.

Today an ‘at sea’ Mrs Blears apologised and attempted to bring the discussion about her future back on to dry land. Emphasising her commitment to “grassroots politics” Mrs Blears described her “deep rooted” belief in ordinary people, but the ship may have already sailed for the stranded politician.

Mrs Blears faces the real prospect that she will be set adrift by her constituency later this month when they decide whether or not to reselect her for re-election following a boundary change. Slipping the mooring of her constituency will effectively torpedo any political ambition Hazel Blears has left.

When asked about the future of Hazel Blears and the Labour party Gordon Brown said “She’s washed up”.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8096833.stm