If you had a time machine that allowed you to go to any place and any time in history where and when would you choose for maximum LOLZ?

Place – The Sea of Tranquility, The Moon
Date - July 20th 1969

At some stage a couple of Americans will show up in a rocket. You could walk up behind them and tap them on the shoulder, but if American international diplomacy policy extends into outer space they’ll probably shoot you in the face, no questions asked. Instead while you’re waiting for them to show up have a picnic, then make yourself scarce. If you were to be a bit sloppy with the tidy up, say you left an empty can of Coke lying around, you would have some seriously tweaked out astronauts. For maximum LULZ, when they’ve gone, steal the flag.

Place – The Road to Damascus
Date – January 26th AD36

The date might be a bit approximate on this one, but basically what you’re looking for is a chap called Saul. He was a bit of a joy killer who spent his days persecuting early Christians. He was on his way to Damascus to smoke a few out. On the way he was struck down with what was probably temporal lobe epilepsy. The effect of which was to blind him for three days. During this time he heard the voice of God. God asked him why he persecuted Christians and told him to stop it and join up. Paul (he also changed his name) did more than just join up, he pretty much took over, he spent the rest of his life travelling the med setting up churches and sending them letters.

So if you can pull off a suitably booming God voice and managed to find this blind, confused, epileptic anything you decided to tell him would have a profound impact on the future of Christendom. Personally I think Christianity could do with a more 18-30s vibe, so I think I’d instruct Saint Paul to travel round the med as the world’s first holiday rep.

Place - River Pool, Lewisham, south east London
Date – January 3rd 2009

On January the 4th Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, took a leisurely stroll down this river in a pair of waders to pick up litter and promote volunteering. Imagine if someone had used a time machine to travel to the previous day and spent a couple of hours digging a trench across the riverbed. There’d be plenty of LOLZ all round when the floppy haired buffoon fell in.