It was my birthday recently. I’m twenty eight. Several people have, in the interests of small talk, said to me, something along the lines of – ‘twenty eight, ooh, late twenties, how does that feel’.
‘Well I’ve been in my late twenties for a while now’ is my standard answer and I leave it at that.
Most people seem to have a rather vague, and frankly wrong, idea of what the definitions of early/mid and late are when it comes to age, but it doesn’t have to be that way. If you think logically your early twenties are the first third of the decade, your mid twenties are the second third and your late twenties are the final third. Of course a third of a decade is 3.3 years, so the date of the change over wouldn’t be on your birthday, it would be in a different month and possibly even a different day. It was then that I realised what I had uncovered was a vast and previously untapped market for greetings cards!
The first thing I did was create this spreadsheet, by entering your date of birth into the box in the top left hand corner it will tell you the date of your transition from early to mid, and mid to late for every decade of your life up until your late nineties.
The next thing I needed was a greeting as catchy as the ubiquitous ‘Happy Birthday’. I settled on ‘Happy Arbitrary and Broad Definition of Age Transition Day’. Then I dropped the ‘Arbitrary’, because it isn’t arbitrary, it’s based on my precise calculations, plus I felt it was more snappy.
Now to design some greetings cards:
Then just wait for the customers to come rolling in.
Old-Nick
Pro 
No girlfriend?
I worry about the amount of time you obviously have on your hands. If you channeled all this effort in another direction, you could be running the world by now.