Hello readers, a pinch and a punch for the first of the month. I just ripped September from my calendar and discovered an previously unheard of month 'Order Your 2008 Calendar Now'. I wonder which Roman emperor this month is named after? Over the last two months this blogs stats have risen significantly, by about 200% and this, combined with the discovery that I can do this, has prompted me to sign this blog up to an online marketing company. Basically I tell them who I am and they send me free stuff to write about, they assure me that I am allowed to say what I like so my artistic integrity will not be compromised, phew.

Boooo, sell out, hisss. Yes I know, but you know what, to use management jargon, my job doesn't provide me with sufficient 'self actualisation' (Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs) and therefore anything that can convince me that this blog is anything more than a hobby is encouraging. That bottle of free shampoo may just provoke the illusion of professionalism.

I found out about this gig from Jo at the Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open blog who got a load of free smelly stuff and created some buzz about it; what you just read is buzz in action. Did you feel it. Well I've told the company that I am capable of creating buzz on travel, books, theatre and something else, I forget. My ideal gig would probably be for the Estonian tourist board reviewing their whole country, which may take up to five years and should be all expenses paid.

But why am I telling you all, surely I should be secretive about this in case I loose your trust. Here's the thing, I thought you guys might like me to review something for you. Basically it seems the deal with the company is post me something and I'll write about it. Why should they have a monopoly on this service, I don't give a shit about them, but I do give a shit about you dear reader. I am flinging the doors of this gig wide open. Anybody who wants to send me anything at all, faecal matter excluded, can do so and I shall create buzz around it, possibly using a swarm of bees.

I'm not posting my address as people might start sending me crap in the post. . . oh actually that's the idea. Still I don't think that's generally thought of as sensible, so if you want to send me some stuff send me a message and I will respond with my address, or with the address of a third party should I suspect you of being a weirdo. If you leave your address I will send you something in return and you can review it on your blog. Leaving your address will not only get you some stuff, it will make the whole thing fairer. You can either leave the message in the comments; message me using the blog.co.uk message function; or email me at phil_skil@hotmail.com - that's my junk email account, which I don't check too regularly, but I'm hardly likely to post my normal one.

That's it baby this blog is now web 2.0 - interactive. Send me your shit in the post - not literally - and it will feature right here! This might fail utterly and I reserve the right not to write about your stuff should I find that I am forced into hiding by a flock of internet weirdos brandishing parts from a Kenwood Chef, but it could also be a spectacular success and that's up to you *graphic of finger coming out of the screen pointing at you*, go on get involved.