They say that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something. If this is the case then you can’t expect to become an expert in many things in your lifetime. I like to set myself reasonable targets, so I’m thinking of becoming an expert at one thing and maybe a half expert at another. I need to fit in 15,000 hours of practice. Well I’m 27 so I’ve probably got about 420,000 hours left to live, give or take a year. So if I want to fit in 1.5 things at expert level before I die I need to spend around 3.5% of the remainder of my life practicing, that’s around fifty minutes a day.

I think I could manage that, but then I might only fully master the lute on my deathbed. The whole point of being a master is to get laid, but if you’re a very old master you’ll just end up with lots of high school kids hanging around who want to learn karate and that’s no good unless you want your car waxed.

No the only non labour intensive solution is to master sex. Kill two birds with one stone so to speak. So I’m looking for a partner for 50 minute sex sessions every day for the next 48 years, but don’t worry by 2039 we’ll be experts! Of course I’m already an expert in masturbation. Here is a video of a kid who looks about 19 who is already, clearly, an expert at dice stacking, (wouldn’t have been my first choice) this would mean that he must have spent about 6% of his whole life doing this, which is, if you consider he spent several years as a puking, shitting, baby, pretty impressive.

P.S. apologies if this post is a bit amateurish this is only 296th post. It’s going to be a few more years before I get the hang of this, but on the plus side it's better than the crap at the start.

Update: I found this interesting blog about a guy who is counting down the number of days he estimates he has left in his life to give him the impetuous to do things.

Update 2: I feel at this point, following some of the comments received, that I should point out that even if I had a rather leisurely 15 minute wank everyday it would take me 109 years to rack up the required 10,000 hours of wanking to make me a wanking expert by which time my knob would surely have fallen off. So no I am not an actual wanking expert, but maybe I like to think I am.