Please don't feel like you have to read this. This employment agency miffed me some while back. I won't go into the hows and whys and possibly leave myself open to liable I will simply link to this article using their name, Huntress. This will hopefully push this page up the google rankings and if I mention a few words relevant to the field that might help, employment, jobs, agency, timesheet, wages, wee jobby. I'm not really sure how all this works, but I do know that this page is already the first result for Huntress Employment Agency,so it must be doing something right; oh and I am a petty bastard.

Remember this? This was my vegetable garden on the 22/03/2007

This was my vegetable garden on the 06/06/2007

And now my vegetable garden on the 28/07/2007. 1 month and 22 days later.

Cool isn't it. Check out those freakin courgette plants in the foreground. And the beans at the back, they are now climbing into the lower branches of that tree. Anyone like Swiss chard, I seem to have allot of it and not allot of takers. Oh well, you should see my cabbages though, I may be able to sell them in Borough market as organic net curtains as they have rather allot of holes. I think the main culprits are slugs and snails though I think the pigeons might have brasica on their hands too.

One of the modules I study for my course at work is introduction to management. I am pretty good at management theory. In the past I've been shown to be good at understanding abstract concepts, read bullshit, so I suit this module. Here is my favourite quote from the course material. The author felt it necessary to describe to the students what anger is for all the Vulcans in the class.

. . . anger is a negative, relatively intense emotion which is
accompanied by an increase in heart rate, by facial expressions and by gestures such as fist shaking.

"Why you pesky kids" shouted old man withers shaking his fist.

"Bill it looks like old man Withers is pretty angry" said Joe doing up his trousers.

"No that's much too intense a reaction to be anger Joe, anger is only a relatively intense emotion, I'd say that's rage."

"You're always better at abstract concepts than me Bill."

"They don't call me Bullshit Bill for nothing".

"I thought that was because you had an arse like a wizard's sleeze?"

I have a confession, there is another. I've got myself mixed up in this Facebook phenomenon just like everyone else; it has taken over my internet life and it is now creeping into my 'real' 'life'. The problem is that if I'm at a party or down the pub everyone keeps talking about Facebook. I'm loathed to bring it into my blog, a forum over which I have total control, but the problem is I think I love it. The fact that it is seemingly pointless, but when you look you can find just enough purpose to excuse its existence. I feel this is reminiscent of this human’s condition. Clearly it is me starting those conversations and now it is me starting the conversation about the conversations, could there be anything more pointless? - Poke - oh yer.

I have 90 friends, whooo, here is a graph I made to show the last time I saw them all. (I have removed colleagues from the data set).

Hello chappies, Facebook has stolen my blog or at least my internet time, more about that later, (hopefully). Anyway this blog is about other blogs. I use Google Reader to read blogs, this is a feed reader and basically it looks a bit like your email inbox but instead of emails you have the posts from the blogs you subscribe to. I've been meaning to write a list of all my favourites for a while. I'm rather optimistically hoping you'll still come back after you've seen what you've been missing, so to remind you of the shit what I've got I will first spice up my blog with some really sensitive information about my work life.

Google Reader has a feature which tracks how many posts you read and when you read them. Here is the secret bit: I usually read the blogs when I’m slacking off at work, so what these stats actually represent is a graph of my slacking! Check it out.

Results:

Analysis:

Weekly

Well well, I’m pretty lazy aren’t I and as you can see I’m at my laziest on a Wednesday, I think I already knew this. Wednesdays are shit. You’re already fucked off with working and you’ve got it all to do again like cresting that hill just to see another one rise in front of you, fuck off Wednesdays.

Daily

The first blip is at home before work then nothing while I commute for an hour. The day starts well with low usage, start as you mean to go on and all that, but by ten O'clock the good intentions are starting to slip, I get a second wind at 11 and the hits actually go down. At twelve I lose all motivation and now I’m killing time waiting for lunch. One O'clock is the lowest bar as I’m not in the office, that’s lunchtime I'm most likely in the pub or the park.

2 O'clock back from lunch, am I refreshed do I have a new vigour? Not really it takes a while to get back in the swing of it, but then it happens 4 o’clock occurs and the hits go to rock bottom, their lowest point for the working day. What’s going on? This is easily the most intriguing figure and I have two explanations. First in this hour I always have my coffee, this is because if I don’t I will actually fall asleep, this has happened. I’ve fallen asleep in meetings before I’ve even had a disciplinary for nodding off in a previous job. Taking this into account the two theories are that I’m either asleep and therefore not reading blogs, or the coffee has done its magic and flung me to an unprecedented level of productivity and therefore I’m not reading blogs. The second option looks better on the C.V. so let’s opt for that. Whatever it is the effects are short lived because we’re soon back up too pre lunch levels and then it’s the commute home again.

O.K. so that's the insight now what you've been missing: as promised, from the cold stats and in no particular order are my favourite blogs. Don’t forget to pop back from time to time.

Scribblin’s and dribblin’s – mwah mwah baby, she’s great and at 0.4 posts a day she keeps you interested without overloading.

Scaryduck – this guy is frickin funny, just today he thought up the following simile while decribing a massive shit that a bird had done on his car “. . . is there a bird flying around the Home Counties of England with an arse like a wizard's sleeve?” Laugh I almost shat myself from my enormous arse on his car.

Time Killing Kid – another .co.uk blogger and work slacker, this chap regales you with tales of an office dunce so retarded that she could only work for the NHS plus his adventures in London with dirty girls. (0.2 blogs a day).

The Show With Zefrank – a very thought provoking video blog by a famous pro blogger, but we kind of missed the boat on this one it's over, still good stuff here.

Bt3a – it means better to geeks. Its not a blogger as such more like a collective, the contributors produce the kind of Photoshop stuff you get sent in fwds and they have a weekly newsletter with funny links. (a lot of my links on the side bar come from here, but they are yet to have a whole section devoted to masturbating animals.)

Xkcd – I like these funny, very geeky cartoons a new one roughly every other day.

Postsecret – every Sunday see a load of heart wrenching secrets, we all got them.

The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely – a very funny ongoing story about a rampant Victorian gentleman, his semi permanent hard on and his man servant. This should really be a book. You get it for free in instalments, Dickens started this way you know.

Flip Flop Flying – very intermittent, but good when it comes. I think he’s a scouser. I first came across him for his graphs, an interest that we share.

Adam Buxton – He is a comedian off the telly so of course he’s funny. (You get to see some of the insecurities that comedians are notorious for too.)

Atomic Sex Kitten & The Reverse Cowgirl – I shouldn’t lump these two together but I have because they both often show tits and fall into the same large single-track part of my brain. The first is more tits and ass than the second which is more arty and philosophical about tits. She seems to have been deeply affected by what she saw on the set of American Bukkake 13, intriguing. Good for finding the links to stuff so weird you didn’t think it was possible like the latex foot with a fake vagina in it. (no proper porn on the blogs themselves if you’re worried about that kind of thing).

Girl Solo in Arabia – a great travel blog about, you guessed it, a girl travelling around Arabia. She is currently in Iran, long but very good.

Of course there are millions of others would love to hear your must reads. I will put them on the reader and see if they make the grade.

I've just thought the number next to the blurb might look like a rating, they're not, they are the stats from Google Reader of the average number of blogs they write per day.

It's my 27th birthday today. Time to take stock of my life, so I did a rate my life quiz on the internet, job done, 6.6 Isn't bad. Of course these quizzes are bollox. Apparently I have a much higher than average financial score, flusher than your menopausal Mum man. The website even asked me, yes me, to leave some financial advice to help those less frugal than me. As an anointed financial guru I thought it would be selfish for me not to share my wise words with you lot. My advice:

I’ve got a cushy little rental deal right now so I pay hardly any rent, I’ve got no kids and no woman to spend money on. When I split from my girlfriend she stopped dressing me, so now I don’t spend anything on clothes; the threadbare look is in! I spend almost all my cash on booze and budget flights. As it stands my drinking hasn’t got so bad that I can’t pay the bills, so I suppose my advice to you would be leave your woman, abandon your kids and the world of fashion, just remember to know when to stop drinking.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.6
Mind:	6.3
Body:	6.7
Spirit:	6.4
Friends/Family:	5.6
Love:	0.8
Finance:	8.7
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

I went down to the garden last night to get a cabbage for my dinner and discovered that someone had got there first. The whole place was crawling with slugs and snails. I've been neglecting it a bit as it hasn't needed watering, but that doesn't give that lot the right to move in and take up residence. So before I got my dinner I set about saving tommorows dinner from these molluscan invaders. I collected so many I had to stop because my hands were covered in so much slime I couldn't grip them anymore. I have honestly never seen so many in one place. Do you want to see what 2 kilos of slugs and snails in a bin looks like?

P.S. they are all now sadly dead.

Update: The BBC has at last picked up on this story, come on boys. Apparently the warm wet weather has led to a slug population explosion, hence the two kilos plus of the bastards slithering around my garden. Here is their story dated the 22/08/07.