Hello, I had a pretty strange day today. I played football with our department, which was really good fun. I’m not good at football, but I could be worse. We won, I set up a goal. I had a really good shot from the edge of the area graze the top of the cross bar and a wildly errant shot of mine deflected of an opposition defender, got a touch of one of my team-mates and by some miracle ended up in the back of the net.

On a separate issue yesterday I bought myself a beard trimmer. I’ve been growing a beard for about a month and it had started to get a bit scruffy. I went for a top of the range one as the last beard trimmer I'd bought was a total pile of crap. When I got home from the pub last night, slightly worse for wear, I thought I'd try it out. It made short work of my stray hairs and neatened the beard up a treat, but that wasn’t enough, I was still hungry for trimming action, so I set to work on my pubes. My new tool cut through my pubes without any issue and before long I had a nice pile of curly hairs and an unnaturally tidy pant beard.

The next morning when I woke up and surveyed my new look genitals I had a terrible realisation. I would be playing football today and that meant communal showers, shit! In the June heat not showering wasn't an option. I manged to be first in the showers and took a towel in, I put the towel on the window sill and wrapped it round me on the way out. I think I ended up looking more shy than anything else. Thankfully examining another mans nether regions is considered perhaps stranger than having perfectly even 5mm long pubic hair. At least that’s what I’m hoping.

One thing I almost forgot to mention, during the game I made a number of tackles that were more enthusiastic than fair. One of these was on a commonwealth silver medallist. Great Britain had few true sporting heroes yesterday, but today, it's got one less. The tackle was described in the pub as falling into the despicable category! Apparently I hit him right in the spot of an existing injury. (He was in the top five in the country at fencing, whoops.)