Tip 1. take up gambling. This weekend I had what I thought was a sure money maker. This is the story of how I took the bookies to the cleaners for £9.24. The idea is to take advantage of the £25 free bet that allot of internet bookies are offering new clients. To claim the bet you have to make a bet of £25. This was my plan:
You make a £25 pound bet on a sure thing. There is no such thing as a sure thing so I went for the next best thing a Frank Warren fight. Frank Warren hypes up his boxers with claims that they are the greatest thing since his last best thing at the same time as arranging enough fights with soft headed pensioners that his fighter's on paper record of KOs matches the hype and people start to believe that maybe they are as good as all that.
That's the reason my fighter, Kevin Mitchell, was 1/50 to win his fight (a £50 bet gets a return of £51). I put £25 pounds on him, he won, I got my twenty five quid of free bets my £25 quid stake back and winnings of. . . 50 pence. I'm 50 pence up, I've recovered my whole stake, I've got £25 quid to play and no more risk.
At this point I discover an even surer thing than a Frank Warren fight. Put bets on football matches that have nearly finished. I bet on Swansea v Brentford in the 85th minute, Swansea were 2-0 up and the odds of them winning were 1/66. I used £10 of my free bet and got a return of 15 pence. This is when the plan falls down. I don't get my stake back. If it was my money I would get the stake back, but as it's a free bet I keep the winnings but they keep the stake. So the plan is less lucrative than I thought but I've still got £15 of free bets and I'm 65 pence up with nothing to loose and I've learned a valuable lesson - read the small print.
So now I have to take some risks at horse racing. With the assistance of Jonny my friend / gambling coach and the Guardian online we pick favourites or second favourites and conservatively make small to medium each way bets. We weren't very successful and only picked one winner but the profit soared from 65 pence to £9.24 for no loss. If we had used our own money we'd have been nearly 6 quid down but as we were using free bets every win was money in the bank.
The whole M'larky took about three hours. That's a bread line income of around £3.08/hour. Better than the Philipino who made your trainers. To speed thing up you could simply put £500 on the Mitchell fight and get your tenner straight off but would you trust someone from Dagenham with £500 quid?
