I am officially old without knowing it; I should have realised, the signs are becoming increasingly obvious: beard, proper job, pension (well I would have if I got round to filling in the form), mothers day card sent on time, collection of ties, hobby (other than wanking), and I generally frown upon drug abuse, unemployment and social alienation.

The clincher is a whole youth movement has managed to pass me by without me even noticing. I had my suspicions, but when it came down to it I was totally oblivious. The movement I'm refering to is Emo.

I must have heard about it somewhere in my past because when I was asked by my colleague, "what does Emo mean", I replied.

". . . I've heard of it. . . it's a kid thing isn't it"

The reason it came up was he (G) was looking at the BBC 606 football chat forum and someone had posted, "I wish my lawn was Emo; it would cut itself". This sentence drew a complete blank in our office. When it comes to the search for the truth and the pursuit of knowledge I'm always willing to put the time in, so I put Emo into Google define. After discounting the result referring to the Irish chain of petrol stations I was hot on the trail with an extract from Wikipedia defining Emo as.

Emo (an abbreviation of "emotionally-driven Hardcore punk") is a term now broadly used to describe almost any form of guitar-driven alternative rock that expresses emotions beyond traditional punk's limited emotional palette of alienation and rage. It is also used to describe fans of this genre, most commonly teenagers. (e.g., emo kid). The actual term "emo" originated in the mid-1980s D.C. scene, with the band Rites of Spring, as well as bands such as Fugazi, Moss Icon, and Antioch Arrow

G was pretty excited about the mid-80's bands. Being over 50 I think he knew his input on this one would be limited. He defined these obscure bands as pretty thrash. Not 100% reliable I suspect but good effort. In the pursuit of knowledge, truth and being 'down with the kids' all contributions are appreciated. We couldn't decide if Emo meant Rap rock stuff like Linkin Park (G's opinion), or bands like Kaiser Chiefs, ummmm. . . Franz Ferdinand and those other Prussian sounding rock guitar outfits.

This meant I had to read the whole Wikipedia article. First thing I notice is a picture of the hair. There it is, that hair cut that all the school kids have. The one that makes me start staring at them trying to spot the bruises. Why aren't people beating these kids up? I hadn't realised it was cool. So the hair is explained, but at this point we still don't understand the joke. Then in the final paragraph I suddenly understand. I hurriedly type out this email.

Check out this Wikipedia article G

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo_%28slang%29

It seems that the 'joke' in the posting is a reference to a stereotype that Emo fans, self harm, therefore cut themselves.

Ha. . . Ha. . . Ha. . .

So we know what Emo is, and get the joke. Emo seems to be a cross between a poorly defined music genre and another category by which teenagers can define themselves or their enemies in the tradition of: Chav, Goff, Townie, Grunger, Teddy Boy, Mod, Rocker etc.

I think this calls for a trip to the hair dresser, a sharp razor, some new slacks and treads and I should be 'down with the kids' in no time. Where did I put that Kaiser Wilhelm CD?