Jack Handy is from Saturday Night Live, I've seen a few of them they're pretty good but I'm no expert. I got a print out of his deep thoughts as a rather thoughtful present this Christmas from a certain somebody. So I have selected my favorite thoughts to post as a gift to anyone reading this.
I hope someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did".
It's funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realised that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.
Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a "shell" if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tinfoil and paper bags.
The face of a child can say it all especially the mouth part of the face.
If you ever catch on fire try and avoid looking in the mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don't just do it by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
If you have time read the rest here Jack Handy.
