My mate Tom claimed to have been attacked by squirrels years ago in a park in Swansea, at the time I just thought he was being a great big pansy but the evidence is mounting up against the squirrels; this is from Fridays Times:
Moscow: Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog in a Russian park. Witnesses told the Komsomolskaya Pravada newspaper that the black squirrels in the Siberian village of Lazo scampered off afterwards, carrying pieces of flesh. A shortage of pine cones may have triggered the squirrels attack.
Sounds a bit like the beginning of 2001 a space odyssey but with squirrels, no one let a squirrel get to the moon, soon they will be building supercomputers.
Yes, it sounds like the begining of planet of the apes, only with squirrels and not apes. I suggest we put operation 'hide the nuts' into effect immediately.. That should put an end to their cruel and savage ways. Bastards.