Leviticus is so easy to take to pieces; it has most of the bibles most ridiculous passages. Rules on where to purchase slaves, who to stone, closely followed by an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth; that old chestnut.
It does contain one of my favourite glaring errors of any holy book. You can make mistakes if you're in school. When you're a professional if you make mistakes you might get sued. When your god you can't make mistakes so I don't really know how you account for this. Is it the proof that God is dyslexic?
After a rant, of some significance to the Jews and Muslims about the shape of the feet of animals you can and can't eat Leviticus moves on to the less well travelled area of insects; edible vs. detestable.
"All insects that walk on all fours are detestable to you. There are, however, some winged creatures that walk on all FOURS that you may eat: those that have jointed legs for hopping on the ground."
I copied this quote from the first entomology website that came up on Google, it’s for kids; this stuff is basic:
"Adult insects have 6 legs. Each of the segments of the thorax bears 1 pair of legs. The legs are segmented. Often the last segment of the leg bears a small claw. In some insects, the legs are specially adapted for jumping."
If you haven't noticed; “insects that walk on all fours”. Christ God you made the bloody things didn't you notice when you put six fucking legs on them. Maybe they started off with four legs but somehow they changed into six legged creatures. Maybe some kind of accumulation of mutations over a geological time scale, but I thought everything God made was perfect and immutable. Religion is so confusing.
Also Leviticus includes the Bat in the list of birds you can’t eat; it is in my opinion a mammal but this of course is debateable. The insect leg thing is a simple hard fact. I could go on all day, read Leviticus you won’t stop pissing yourself.
The second best thing I have read in a while is this article in today’s Daily Mirror: Squirrel crack-kin. Its an article about squirrels in Brixton (London) digging up Crack that dealers hide in the ground, this quote is pure gold. One homeowner in Brixton, south London said…
“My neighbour told me that Crack dealers sometimes use my front garden to hide bits of stash. An hour earlier I’d seen a squirrel wandering around the garden digging in the flower beds. It was ill-looking and its eyes were bloodshot but it kept digging.”
I am sure the Met could use these guys; I always knew they would have some use. I don’t think we can eat them. Good old Leviticus rules out rabbits because they chew the cud and don’t have a split hoof, he doesn’t mention animals that eat Crack so I guess its up to your discretion.
