Well it looks like the add worked, we found an Aussie who didn't fall into any of the banned categories. G managed to fend of all of the Scandinavian women B had invited to look round by pretending that their mobiles were breaking up. If you see a long queue of blonde women outside a car phone warehouse somewhere in south London you now know why.

Brendan had told me that G had had a preference for Scandos as they were efficient, I had found this slightly suspicious at the time; turns out B just has a preference for sexually liberal blondes.

Why is it that sexually liberal blond girls from Scandinavia are irresistible while bottle blonde Essex slags aren’t?

Gemma told the new boy all about the Alky before he agreed to move in which I thought was crazy but since he still moved in was definitely for the best; at least he won't get a nasty surprise now.

Well then, it’s about time I wrote something. I have had not a bad week. Had my first taste of the corporate life, I had to go on some of the training with the graduate recruits this week. What a sorry bunch of Hooray Henrys they were. The company completely spoils them, gives them a taste of what they can get if they work their asses off. One morning they come in having blown the whole week’s drinks budget in one night on champagne. Instead of being made to pay for it they just slap them on the back and congratulate them on being so clever. The most toffish one is being placed in my office. Although I am determined to hate the bastard the last one they put in I have grown to rather like.

I did get to take a tour of Canary Warf, we went up the big tower in the middle and got to go in the room with all the models of the sky scrapers; you know the place were the megalomaniac baddies in the eighties movies plot how to get the blind kids out of the run down rustic school building to build their new shiny gothic monstrosity. Invariably they choose to hire a couple of bungling thugs who are outwitted by the smart kids even though they are blind; usually using ball bearings and rollers skates.

In other news we are advertising for a new flat mate, me and my house mates have taken matters into our own hands as our landlady has an appalling bad track record. In the time I have lived here we have been subjected to an insane Belgian who was being chased by the Belgian tax men, he claimed to be able to hear spiders walking on the ceiling and have a 320 degree field of vision; not even Lone Star could do that. The other nightmare scenario has been her last boyfriend who she has allowed to squat in our house, an alcoholic that comes as a package with a stray poodle; undeniably cute but smelly.

Let me begin with the poodles crimes and then I can move on to the vagrant. The dog is through no fault of its own deranged from the abuse it has suffered; its crimes include shiting on G and B’s bed and being sick on mine; enough to be shot in most countries.

The Alky has no responsibilities, comes in loud and late most nights and doesn’t pay for anything, is always skint and when drunk, which is often, talks even more bullshit than the Belgian. I had the pleasure of accompanying him out for birthday drinks recently I lost my last vestiges of respect for the man as I watched him sponge off his own son while he got magnificently drunk and proceeded to bore the whole pub by talking shite while covering them in his own spit. The only people who attended were me his son and his boss. I paid for the taxi home with the tenner he had just paid me that he had owed me for months. His brother turned up for long enough to call me a student and tell me this about Jon. “He’s a very generous man our Jon, he will give you his last pound, but you can guarantee that by the end of the night he will have twenty of yours”.

This is close enough to the transcript of the add we placed.

Sunny double in *** looking for twenty something for friendly, professional, slightly eco friendly house share, no hard core vegans/ dreadlocks/ unshaved armpits/ the bloke from the video shop that Phil hates. No Belgians, no no no. No alcoholics. Please God send us someone normal.

We left that on for one day and got a call from a friendly Aussie bloke who thought the add was funny. Maybe it will work. We are determined to be as discriminatory as possible. You might find the Belgian bit a little harsh, but why waste people’s time, we don’t even let them near the house, I am just hoping the bloke from the video shop applies.

Ta Ra for now.

I am afraid I have got a promotion and this has caused me to become dull and bit violent, not at all conducive to Blog writing so they have become a bit sparse.

I started my new position for real today; all I did was have meetings with lots of different people who I shall be working for. Everyone assures me that I will be very busy, but as yet, all they have done is tell me about their clients and what kind of work we do for them. I haven't been given a single task to do. I wonder how long I can go telling everyone I am busy doing a job for someone else; I bet there are people who have made careers doing that.

Looking and sounding like you work hard is definitely the key to going places. Part of this is culturally one of the worst things about British office life. Staying in the office after your scheduled home time, unpaid overtime, it makes you look good and helps you get promoted. perhaps these people are just trying to steer clear of their wives and kids, I don't know but if one person does it then everyone else does.

I did a bit today, you know look like I am busy, I felt really guilty for the obvious effect it had on my colleagues sitting around me. One girl was in half an hour before me and felt like she had to justify going fifteen minutes after she was scheduled to leave, just go!

I left soon after but was dismayed to see almost the whole department I will be working with for the rest of the week still at their desks; brown nosed, crazy, bonus sponging bastards; well at least someone is doing some work.