My mate Brendan is going with his girlfriend Gemma, to a wedding next week. His girlfriend is a bridesmaid and has taken allot of trouble to look good i.e. has lost allot of weight. The other day Brendan discovered that part of his boyfriend duties involved having his face covered in fake tan. The reason, he is told, is to test the tan so that Gemma can use it without fear of looking a prat at the wedding; the logic being that Brendan will look like a prat either way, her logic not mine. Anyway Brendan has fake tan smeared all over his bearded face. The next day Brendan is driving round London with his new little brown bearded face and low and behold he is stopped by the police, luckily this time he is not shot just asked to replace a taillight. I just wonder what Gemma's plan really is. Its Brendan's birthday this weekend and if Gemma buys him a new rucksack, a bus pass and a copy of the Koran I'm gonna be having words.